Cornerstone Humor

The Woman In The Choir

Did you hear about the woman in the choir that was hit in the head with a hymnal that was thrown from the congregation? She said, "Throw another one, I can still hear the preacher!"

The Lighter Side

How many church members does it take to change a light bulb?
"Change? What do you mean change?
My grandmother gave the church that light bulb!"

How many nursery workers does it take to change a light bulb?
"They don't change anything.
They wait for the parents to come by after church!"

How many singers does it take to change a light bulb?
"Only one, but she'll need six weeks preparation and will get upset if you don't put her name in the bulletin."

Then on the other hand...
How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
Who knows! They're standing in the dark arguing whether the light bulb exists or not!

The Neighbor

Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson's house, Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something.
"He won't get away with it this time," muttered Robinson to his wife. "Watch this."
"Er, I wonder if you'd be using your power-saw this morning," the neighbor began.
"Gee, I'm awfully sorry," said Robinson with a smug look. "But the fact of the matter is, I'll be using it all day."
"In that case," said the neighbor, "you won't be using your golf clubs, mind if I borrow them?" - Golf Digest

The Gravestone Message

The following caption was found written on a gravestone...
"As I am now, you soon shall be,
So be content to follow me."
Then someone taped the following note on that gravestone...
"To follow you I'm not content,
until I know which way you went!"

You Might Be A Preacher If...

• You've ever asked for the clergy discount at a garage sale.
• You've ever received an anonymous "U-Haul" gift certificate.
• You've ever spoken for free and were worth every penny of it.
• Anyone's ever thanked you for curing their insomnia.
• Instead of getting "ticked off" you get "grieved in your spirit."
• You've ever fantasized about "re-baptizing" a deacon.
• You've ever been asked, "So, what do you do the rest of the week?"
• "Daycare" and "lawsuit" are synonymous terms.
• Vacation Bible School is no vacation.
• Your sermons have a happy ending... everybody's happy when it ends.
• You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to awaken and discover you were.

Farmer's Weather Vane

An old farmer was sitting on his porch, holding a small piece of rope. His guest, a city man, asked, "What's the rope for?"
The farmer said, "It's my weather vane."
"How can you tell weather with that thing?" asked the city man.
"When it goes from side to side, it's windy. When it's wet, it's raining."